Wednesday the 13th

That's the day of the D&C. I hope it all goes according to plan. I am supposed to arrive at the at 6:30. Check in and go to the surgery prep. It'll take 2 hours, and the surgery will take about 30 min. Then into the recovery room and back home...wish me luck.

I am nervous since it's surgery and all surgery has risks. I'm not freaking out because it's not like it's open heart surgery. I am excited because it'll finally be over. I am optimistic because once the pain and cramping stops I'll finally get to start running again. My gift to myself after surgery...a sad movie and shopping for running pants at the outlet mall. The shopping will come after the sad movie.

Today

It started out normal, then it turned into one of those days when you notice that...

You get no credit for work you do.

People are better at criticizing you and shooting down your ideas than they are at finding new ways to solve problems.

and you want to start smoking again.

When I wanted to throw a tantrum and tell everyone off I just bottled everything up inside and cried in my car after work. I do not feel any better. Sometimes I hate the way life turns out.

now what?

I did the pills again as planned and nothing happened. I actually had less bleeding with them rather than phase two of the miscarriage. So now I'll definitely be having the D&C that I've been working so hard to avoid. Bummer.

It seems all I spend my weekends doing is going to the hospital.

I'm ready to go camping and get out of the house and cell phone reception range. I'll go take a nice bath now.